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March 07, 2016 - 11:31 am

feelings of emotions

A lot of times, I mostly write about what's going on and not really how I'm feeling. Because things are usually status quo.
However, today I write with feelings of ANGER. Yesterday was a breaking point for me. Saturday morning I was up at 6am cleaning. I had invited a few people over for food and cake for Jade's birthday and well the house was gross so I was at least trying to get the main rooms done. Well only Erik came over. Everyone else was working/busy. Jade was pretty disappointed, as was I. So after he left to go to work, I continued cleaning. I ended the day with just the office and Cadence's room to clean (and the fridge). Jay ran off to some meet and left me home with the girls. I took a bath and tried to relax/destress. I've been battling something most of the week- sore throat, run down feeling...
Sunday I get up and go for a run. It's been a while. When I get home I'm sore. I think it's my hamstrings causing the pain that goes from my legs around my hips and up my side and into my low back. So I was stretching. Then I started in on the office. Cleaned it and then tried to get the tax paperwork together. Spent about 3 hours getting everything organized. Jay had come in at some point and asked if he could help. I said, well start with your business stuff and handed him a stack of papers. He spread it out all over the floor and left it there. It's still there. He said he "gave up". I finished up what I had to do for everything else, and then off to Cadence's room to clean. It wasn't too terrible and I finished within 40 minutes or so. Meanwhile, they were in Jade's room completely trashing it.... I spent a lot of time in there on Saturday going through stuff, organizing the bins, etc. Well Jay made them dinner, and I went in there and just threw everything in a garbage back.
I am SO SICK of not being respected or appreciated by anyone. And that's exactly how I'm being treated. If it wasn't for me, nothing would get done. I never have time to just relax- I always find some chore to do.
And so last night I just read my book for like an hour. It's not a great book, so I just want to finish it at this point before I run out of renewals. Then up early and back to the gym. Still angry. Had 7 things on my to-do list today and did 6 so far. Want to list some clothes on craigslist. But there's all these papers all over my office so I don't have any room.
Last Wednesday was jade's birthday. I had taken off half of Tuesday to go shopping for her, which we did. And we ordered the cake from Chompies. She wanted one of their ladybug cakes. They said NO PROBLEM. Wednesday I took the afternoon off. We picked up cadence at 1, then we went to Bump and Roll and did the hamster balls with Sapphire. Then we went mini golfing and then to Pump it up. Jade picked Chompies for dinner so we ate and then I went to grab the cake. Well they couldn't find it. Then they realized that they didn't make it. The offered to get one from their Tempe location, but it was already 7pm. Luckily I was able to distract Jade because she hadn't opened her presents yet. So she got a minion cupcake for free and we went home and did presents and sang happy birthday to her with the candle in her minion.
Judy was LAME this year. She mailed a check for $100 in a card. Gee, what every 4 year old wants! Not even a phone call. The rest of her family... nothing. Barbara sent $20, and I got her a few things- dress, pj's, bathing suit, snackeez cup, water bottle, colorforms, stickers, gel pens, paw patrol game, kite, headbands, and some FUN and a bath bomb from Lush. We also got paw patrol decorations from walmart. She was so surprised when she woke up on Saturday and everything was decorated.
Friday Jade had her program day- last day of winter session. Then I had to take her for her well visit. I found a new peditrican since her current one isn't on this new insurance. She seems nice and is closer. 43" and 40 lbs.
Our refi is in underwriting. Hopefully I can get that wrapped up this week....
see? SEE how everything falls ON ME!?

Cookies finished up on the 28th. Cadence sold 1414 boxes. We were able to move some around to get her to the 1500 so she gets the $300 voucher for summer camp! Also moved Lauren and Brooke up a level too, so it wasn't like I took all the cookies just to benefit Cadence.
Got the troop bank account all reconciled and squared away. Just need to figure out what to do for the meetings for the rest of the year. But at least we are off until the 21st for break. Although an entire week has already gone by!
I only went to the gym twice last week. Between being burnt out from cookies, Jade's birthday and that sore throat (that luckily went away), I just didn't have any more in me.
OH yeah, we sold the GTR- that's how we were able to move forward with the refi. Jay bought Kent's 335i. I don't think he's going to keep it. He's not happy with it, but it has 4 doors and it was cheap.
Cadence now has a spot at BASIS but i want to tour the school. We like Legacy, but Basis is THE BEST school in the area.

previous - next

archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017
missing jay! - September 15, 2017
trying to remember, and wishing I could forget - September 07, 2017
completely overwhelmed - September 05, 2017
16 girl scouts - August 25, 2017