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December 31, 2008 - 8:10 pm
bye bye 2008
so it's new years eve with 4 hours to go of 2008. I can't wait for this stupid year to be over, so we can start fresh.
Christmas was ok. It wasn't as sad as I thought it would be, I think because I could see the joy in Cadence. It made me not miss my mom so much and made me a lot less disappointed that there were no presents under the tree for me.
Things are about the same. I had my review and got a raise- 3.6% but I guess in this economy, it's better than nothing. Jay's unemployment is being disputed and he hasn't gotten a check in like 7 weeks. Money is very tight. He has a hearing next week. Hopefully he will win and start getting paid again. If not, he needs to find something ASAP because I do not make enough money to pay all the bills.
I've been out of touch with everyone lately because I just don't want to talk to anyone. I've been in a weird mood. I'm going to call some family tomorrow though. My brother and grandmother called on christmas and I didn't even listen to their voicemails, let alone call them back. I know, I'm horrible, but I just don't want to talk to anyone.
Lately, I've been wondering what I used to do with myself before I got pregnant and turned into a mom. I'm trying to find hobbies and things for myself to do. I'm kinda bored. Jay plays his video game or goes on the computer or goes to a meet and I sit at home. I don't go on the computer much because I stare at the screen 7 hours a day for work- why do it for fun too? I'm not a big TV watcher except for my shows.
Maybe I'll go back in time through my diary to figure out what I used to do for fun. I know I used to go to the gym and I really miss that, but I don't have the money for that.
I feel like reading but I always used to get hand-me-down books from my mom or grandma or somebody but I don't have that connection anymore. Maybe I'll get a library card or something. Jay & I are the same I guess. The past few days I see he's been trying to do more around the house and be helpful. I don't ask a lot of him so I'm glad he's pitching in. He stays up late though and never comes to bed with me so we can cuddle as we go to sleep. I miss that. I have to get up to work and get cadence dressed and fed so I go to bed between 10 and 11- not early but not too late. He's up til 1 or 2 most of the time. So 2009 what do I want to happen:
1- Get in shape again. We went for walks a couple of times around the neighborhood and the weather's pretty good. And when it's summer, I want to do some serious swimming (if we ever get the pool filter fixed).
2- Enjoy life. Try not to worry TOO much about money, and go out and have some fun once in a while
3- Spend QUALITY time with the family. I love them so much
4- Maybe find a new job. I want to make more money and I definitely deserve it That's it. I can't really complain- i'm very blessed. I lost a lot this year, especially my mom, but Cadence has filled a lot of the void and becoming a mom has given me a very different perspective on life.
previous - next
archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017
missing jay! - September 15, 2017
trying to remember, and wishing I could forget - September 07, 2017
completely overwhelmed - September 05, 2017
16 girl scouts - August 25, 2017
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