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December 01, 2004 - 10:58 pm thanksgiving's over- on to december so I worked very late tonight- until 6, but when you are supposed to leave at 430 that is very late. I just had too much to do. And I deleted a bunch of entries because I am not going to use this diary as a tool to continue a stupid argument. Jay and I had a very long weekend but we did some talking. I wish he'd tell me what he was feeling more often so it doesn't get to the point where he explodes. And in other news, I was wondering the other day why beth and i weren't friends anymore. In a way it kinda sucks because we really do have a lot in common- computers, tv shows, movies, music, hockey, ddr.. and she's close and sometimes I wish I had friends that lived close to me. but then I remember how when her new gf suddenly came into her life and didn't like me, we kinda stopped talking and well jay doesn't like her very much and she thinks he's controlling my life so i guess that's why we aren't friends anymore- because we just can't be happy for each other. And then i think back about the last conversation we had about 3 months ago and I just know that we could never be friends again. Sometimes I wish nothing ever happened between us ever and we were nothing but friends, and sometimes I wish that I had the balls to do something about my feelings when I first met her, not a year and a half later. No I don't have 'feelings' for her anymore so don't go taking this the wrong way. All I'm saying is that she was a cool person and we had some fun times together and I wish I could go back to the day I didn't meet her because I got lost and start all over again, done things differently. I'm really done with girls. I just can't deal with them. I'm so incredibly happy with jay and I'd rather have 10 bad days with him and 100 good because those good day would make up for anything else that could have ever happened on the bad ones. *Cliff notes: -I'm very happy with jay -It kinda sucks that beth and i aren't friends anymore -I work entirely too much -Communication needs to be a higher priority in my life previous - next archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017 missing jay! - September 15, 2017 trying to remember, and wishing I could forget - September 07, 2017 completely overwhelmed - September 05, 2017 16 girl scouts - August 25, 2017