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September 08, 2002 - 9:30 am ok im really sick of people yelling at me to eat. Last nite i was so mad because jay said something about me not eating a lot and it just pisses me off. Its not like im starving myself. I just have no appetite lately. (one of the many signs of depression) so when I am hungry i eat- when I'm not, I dont. he got mad cuz my entire family went to dinner at a buffet and i didnt go cuz i wasnt hungry. what was the point? so i can sit there and pay for a meal that i wasnt gonna touch?! i mean come on. so he called and i just went to bed- then he called again when i was sleepin and i just let it ring. it really upset me. made me realize that maybe im not ready to be with someone. cuz the minute something goes wrong i feel like everything is falling apart. i'm doing it again- im relying on others for my own happines and that is not fair to me or anyone else. It also made me realize why i chose jay over chris. Frankly i can't stand him. He walks on eggshells around me, always making sure if im ok and if theres anything bothering me that day. I dont need that either. I need to be treated like a normal human being. period. so in general yesterday was just a bad day. archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017 |