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March 22, 2021 - 10:25 am

feeling frustrated

Yesterday was a rough day. Accumulation of small frustrations and feeling overwhelmed. I took the cover off the pool on Friday because J said in not so many words that she wanted to go swimming STAT. Water was clear but lost of algae. As soon as I started vacuuming, it turned swampy. It's now Monday- half a container of algaecide, 2 bags of shock, acid, chlorine, clarifier... still swampy. I can almost see the bottom of the shallow end- just make out the magic eraser that's sitting down there. Ended up ordering new cartridges for the filter. Everything I read said they last 1-5 years and we've had that filter somewhere between 3-5 now. We rinse them out a couple of times a year but I'm hoping this does the trick. I was planning on setting up the hot tub this week, but didn't have much to do Saturday so decided to dig it out. Picked up foam tiles to put underneath since the bubble wrap mat didn't hold up very well. I think these will work and hopefully help retain heat. So we blow it up Saturday and there's a hole in it somewhere. ughhh. Jay actually found it yesterday and repaired it and it seems to be holding air. Now I have to get the chemicals in there before that turns green too LOL
Plus trying to find supplies for the troop meeting and having to go to 3 stores. Not hearing from people if they are coming, people not showing up. Feeling tired and having a headache. I was not in the mood to host a troop meeting. But I had 11+ 1 online out of 21 girls and everyone enjoyed themselves. And that made me feel a bit better- that my effort is appreciated, even if I don't always hear about it.
Spring break ended yesterday and it was a rough morning. Now it's time for me to hunker down and figure out a job situation. It's been an entire year and I need to get out and do something. I need to feel like I matter.
Class attendance has been non-existent. I don't remember the last time I had anyone in class. It might have been when I had the live class to be honest. So I just feel like a failure. I can't keep the pool nice or the house clean or have a successful troop meeting. I can't seem to do anything right and that's why yesterday I just kinda lost it. Sat in my car and cried before I could pull myself together.
The 2nd half of our break was non-productive. J cancelled the 2 hikes that she scheduled. Girls went to the dentist- no cavities, which is always good news. C went to Flag on Saturday morning with her friend to do a ziplining adventure.
I did quite a bit of reading. I splurged and got 2 swimsuits. I hope they fit- they were close out and no returns. I also took the girls and got them swimsuits and a couple of other things.

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29 days left - April 19, 2021
no no no no no - April 16, 2021
getting organized - April 12, 2021
Hoppy Easter - April 06, 2021
signs from above - March 29, 2021