July 15, 2018 - 5:10 pm
So at least once a day I break down crying, questioning if I made the right decision; worried about the future. Making that decision was so unbelievably scary, but I had faith that things would work out and I'd have a job by now, but I'm officially unemployed and I don't.
previous - next
Nothing came from those two recorded interviews. I had an in person interview, which was a total scam and a waste of my time. I've spent between 3-5 hours M-F last week applying for jobs. I applied to somewhere between 50-60 jobs. I am looking ALL the time, even in the evening or when passing a building....
Tuesday we went to the trampoline park in the afternoon, and we went to the supercharger and walked around for a bit. Then I taught pound. Wednesday we went food shopping and I planned out a menu.
It was 7/11 so I took the girls to lego building, and for slurpees. I had to teach at StaFit (yay) but Jay took them for a second free slurpee. Thursday I had my crappy 'interview' and then I was talking to Laura, which I desperately needed! We went and played mini golf at FatCats and then went to the Idea museum. We were going to go to Uptown Jungle but it was pure chaos and so crowded. We had fun though. Friday we went to the movies and saw Hotel Transylvania 3. Didn't know chandler went to all reserved seating (and raised their prices) so we ended up going to Tempe instead and saved $2. The movie was cute. It had been a while since we went to the movies!
Yesterday (saturday) I had a recruitment event. I took Jade with me. She had fun, and then we went to the library afterwards. Came home, went with Jay to look at a car, and then stopped at Fry's on the way home for a few things we missed. Then I started cleaning (at like 2:30). By dinner I had everything but the dining room, kitchen and the play room done. I finished two of them after dinner and left the kitchen and floor for today. I didn't finish until about 12 though. I filed for unemployment. I don't know if I will get it but it's worth a shot.
I also emailed Pound on Friday night. I don't think I can make LA on Friday. I have no hotel room. I have no plane ticket. I could do an overnight bus there and back but I'm nervous about that because I don't feel like getting molested (or robbed) while I am sleeping. Jay offered to drive out, but we'd still have to get a hotel. I just feel like it's not the right time. I put off anything because I was hoping I'd have a job by the time it came around. I'm disappointed but I don't know what else to do. I hope they get back to me tomorrow saying I can transfer to Phoenix or get a refund. If not, I guess I'll be going, but I know my head is not in the right place right now.
Starting 7/28 I'll be picking up Laura's Saturday class at StaFit. 11am kinda sucks but I want the practice and I want the money.
I haven't heard back about my school application. I need to follow up this week.
Today we dropped Cadence off for a sleepover at Lauren's. Then we went to Target and Walmart for a backpack for Jade. I promised her I'd buy her one but Jay paid. It made me feel sad. After Target, we went to Walmart to see what else they had and get some shampoo, bandaids. Jade didn't like the backpack selection there (there wasn't much) and I wanted to pay here too, but nope.
I am so strong and independent. Having to even think about relying on someone else makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I can't even take care of my own family?! I don't want to be a failure, but I KNOW I had to leave TD. It was slowly killing my soul.
And I know this is going to be the topic of concern for a while, so just bear with me as I work through it. I internalize a lot. I put on a strong front for my girls and for Jay, but I know he sees that I'm struggling.
still interviewing. - August 22, 2018
keep on interviewing - August 13, 2018
another one bites the dust. - August 06, 2018
end of july - July 30, 2018
busy week for sure - July 26, 2018