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April 19, 2017 - 8:14 am

beyond overwhelmed

So I've been putting this off for a while. Why? Because I'm so ridiculously busy! The weight of the world always falls upon my shoulders.
Last night, Cadence asks me to "fix her soap" because it's too liquidy. Mom to the rescue! I swapped it with mine. Everything is always my responsibility and I'm just tired of it. Homework has to be checked? Mom. Calendar maintained? Mom. Activities for kids? Mom. Laundry, clean house, clean sheets, clean dishes? Mom, mom, mom, mom. Maintain business recordkeeping? Also mom. Make sure shit is paid on time? Guess what, MOM!
Last week was pretty much hell. Rachael was out T-M of this week so I started taking her work the wednesday before (2 weeks ago now). I got BURIED. I made it to the gym twice. Why? Because when there's shit to do, I alway put myself last. It's just my nature.

Anyway, between the last time I wrote and now, here's a brief list of things that happened
-girls got free hamburgers from the library for spring break reading
-cadence and i went to a sleepover at the science center. it was a lot of fun and neither of us had been there before
-we checked out montezuma national castle and well up in camp verde
-jay took me to oreganos for lunch
-last friday i told guy i couldn't be on a conference call because i had to go to pound class.
-Jade started the 3 session tanner's kids learn to ice skate.
-dyed eggs and had easter baskets and an egg hunt, kielbasa and pierogi for dinner.
-saw the fate of the furious
-went for my dr kells well visit. he's sending me for a mammogram (next week)
-dropped off 24 dozen pairs of shoes for girls scouts
-had a troop meeting where NONE of the girls listened to me and I was beyond frustrated. Also Donna didn't listen to me and instead of terrariums, the girls made planters.
-Had a leader's meeting that went well, great ideas tossed around. Typing up the minutes was another thing I threw to the side for 4 days because I was so busy and it pissed me off.
It's like, I have so much to do and throw it to the side to get stuff done for others and then it's "why don't you want to sit and watch TV with me" BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH SHIT I NEED TO DO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SIT AND RELAX!

And Rachael was supposed to be back yesterday, but I guess she had an AM flight... that was delayed. So she logged on at 2 and worked until maybe 4:30. I was still buried with work and even more annoyed because I wasn't supposed to be.
She's back and already I've started to catch up, get organized and have a plan of attack... and get my own work done. Because once again, busy... my shit gets put to the side, in personal and professional settings.
And now it's wednesday. I"m debating on going to the gym at 9 for dance or spin. Or maybe digging out the trampoline and staying home. Or doing trampoline and going later and trying cardio kickboxing or zumba..
I put on a pair of capri's yesterday. I had to take them off. They were so tight in the legs.
I don't feel like I put in the effort that I wanted to to get myself ready for sunsplash and I'm disappointed in myself.

I'm hoping that the rest of the week will settle down and I'll get out of my bad mood. I can put the focus back on me. Friday I have to put out signs in leaders' yards for leader appreciation day. Saturday is the annual meeting, which will be most of the day doing something for me. Monday is a troop meeting. I'm just going to let the girls do planning. Planning a meal for their last meeting that they will cook and planning their end of year celebration. With 2 meetings left, don't want to start anything else and anytime I present activities outside of the meeting I get ignored so I'll probably just stop trying. At least Brooke isn't coming back next year. I'm so sick of her and Felicia's entitled attitude.

previous - next

archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017
missing jay! - September 15, 2017
trying to remember, and wishing I could forget - September 07, 2017
completely overwhelmed - September 05, 2017
16 girl scouts - August 25, 2017