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June 26, 2007 - 7:36 am
26 weeks, 1 day
so every day for the past week i've cried because we don't know where we are going to live. i am so scared and so stressed out and I know it's not good for the baby, but how can I not be?
And it's not that I'm mad at the baby because I really can't be. We really want a family and we're both so happy and excited. I just wish things could have been a little different and we could've bought that house in arizona in march. Then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation, but who knows?
I love jay so much that I can't even put into words. He has been so supportive and caring and loving and if I didn't have him, I'd probably fall apart right now. I just appreciate it so much that he understands how upset I am and how he can help to make me feel a little better, even for an hour or two.
Talking with my mom didn't help matters either yesterday. Her cancer is gone, but the dr told her that it will never go into remission and when it comes back, it's going to come on strong and attack another vital organ and that she's not going to have another chance and that this could happen in as little as 2 years.
All I have left of my mom is 2 year?! She's never going to get to know her grandchild. I thought the battle was over for now- looks like it has just started. She's only 54! She's so young.
I just want everyone to be happy and healthy and safe. I haven't had a good night's sleep in days. I slept yesterday but I wake up. I'm just trying to keep myself busy with work to take my mind off of things.
But now I must stop writing so I can try and calm down so I can get myself together and go to work.
previous - next
archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017
missing jay! - September 15, 2017
trying to remember, and wishing I could forget - September 07, 2017
completely overwhelmed - September 05, 2017
16 girl scouts - August 25, 2017
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