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July 13, 2002 - 9:46 pm To Bill: Two years ago yesterday you asked me to be your girlfriend. If you told me then that it would have caused so much hurt and heart ache I would've said no way but I never thought it would last past the summer, but it did. And we had lots of fun. And I grew to love you and trust you in such a short time. Every hour of every day that I spent with you, I enjoyed. You became my second half because we were always together, yet I never felt crowded nor grew tired of you. Then, without warning you said you wanted your space and I gave it to you, and we tried to keep it together but it just caused fight after fight. Eventually, I wore you down and you were mine again, but it didn't last. I thought I could make it work if I tried hard enough, and I really did try, but something about you changed and I wasn't good enough for you anymore so you left. And you really did leave. You broke up with me and then left for vacation. You left me all alone to care for my wounds. You tried to be my "friend" but you've always been a horrible friend. That's probably why you don't have any anymore. Now, it's almost a year later since you've broken my heart and sometimes, I'm still sad. But I am tough now. I have a heart of stone that no one can get to because I won't let them. I've learned that you can't trust anyone because they will only hurt you when you're not looking. I've become numb to the world and the people in it. I've given up trying because it doesn't do any good anyway. I've given up hope because all it leads to is disappointment after disappointment. You haven't made me stronger, you've made me afraid- afraid to show any type of emotion or feeling. This attitude has caused me to mutilate myself so that I can still recognize the fact that I AM still alive; I am unfortunately a living breathing creature, who surrounds herself with inanimate objects to make herself feel accomplished. So I just want to say thank you- for making me wish I didn't exist archery instructor aka wonderwoman - September 25, 2017 |